02/29/2008
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Feb 8, 2021
Old ?...
Doing it again...
04/23/2008I have terrible feelings coming up again. I see mothers who seem to be able to do it all. Raise a family, be great cooks, Inside of houses that seem to be coming right off the pages of Magazines, have decent clothing for informal groupings,( not over done) to meet informal, but dressy clothing. Collage degrees, have worked in the work field and have honors for doing so. Have many talents that they are working on, and accomplish them.
They seem to have been very successful with their time here on earth.
Then I look at my self...I have a few dormant talents, 6 kids, and nothing else. I feel I have wasted my time, and I don't even know where it went.
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Mailboxs...
01/15/2009
I have a 'Dayminder' that I use for my year calendar. I like the weekly Academic Planner because it starts in the month of August instead of January.
In the back of the book, are a few pages for address, and phone numbers.
Each year I carefully record the current address, and phone numbers of each of my family. I am surprised at how many pages are filled at the end of the year, by their moving to different houses, or changing phone numbers.
Sometimes I imagine that there are flying mailboxes flying at me, like the letters in the Harry Potter movie.
So far this year, starting after August, I have a new address for Jodie. And a new address for David. Coming soon will be a new address for Pauli and James. And I hear that sometime in the summer, perhaps a new address for Jennifer and Mike.
I think the Phone numbers have stayed the same....
My book looks like a rainbow as I write each in a different color. Last year I ended up with pages of rainbows.
Life can be very interesting.....and colorful.
After all Rainbows are very beautiful.
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Nauvoo, Four Leaf Clover...
02/18/2009
Many years ago back in 1967, Lynn and I were on vacation. We stopped and visited the sight where the Nauvoo Temple had stood. Walking on the grass where the water well was located that furnished water for the baptism fount, I found this four leaf clover. I was expecting at the time and wished on the clover for a baby boy.
I placed the clover in a frame, and kept it all these years. In 1968 a baby boy came to live with us, we called him David Lynn Walker.
This year 2009, I will give David his four leaf clover. May he keep it with loving memories.
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Tragics 2011
01/11/2011
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Unending trials...
10/23/2011Facing another heartache that I don't like going through.... It hurts too much, and there is nothing I can do to change it....I may not be here, by the time this one gets corrected.... My first one, has not been corrected yet, and its been over 23 years.... Sometimes the deep pain will wake me up at night. I often have to ask for heavenly help to put my feelings on a shelf, and calm my troubled heart, and help me, so I might be able to sleep at night.... Most of the time a loving Heavenly Father grants my request.... I guess that's what I get, when I give my heart away....
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Two Good Things....
11/02/2011
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
New Year 2012...
01/01/2012
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
10/02/2012
To know that He is aware of me and my needs touches me so deeply that words are hard to find. I Love Him so much and very grateful for his love for me. I know that He lives.
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Christmas 2012....
1/01/2013
A friend that I play cards with, asked if I would like her dinning Table, as she was getting a new set. I thought she was talking with another lady by me, but as I looked at Penny, she was looking right into my eyes....All I could say was a mild yes....I wasn't sure of what I had heard.
I have always loved Penny's Dining Table and chairs. If I was able to afford to buy one, that would be the set I would look for. Solid Maple wood. The table top slides a part, on gears, to add two leafs, or to store one leaf. Out fully the table can sit 10 people. The chairs have high backs, and are very comfortable.
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
6/18/2014
For a Parent it was like hanging onto the tip of a Kite tail flying high into the air...being tossed too and fro, sharp drops and with a gust of wind blown straight up again.
It took one Parent to hang onto the string, and one on the tail...
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Through The Years....
Some of the talk lately have been around kids and challenges while they are growing. If extended family can or do help.
Thinking back upon our family when they were small children, Lynn was working full time, going to College, and being on three stake missions. We lived in Arizona, our extended families lived in Utah.
So I remember feeling alone alot of the time. It always felt good to have a chance to talk adult talk and not kid talk at times. I also remember for a short time I had all six kids at home, each having a different schedule. and at times I felt worn out trying to keep up with them. There are seventeen years between my oldest and my youngest. We had trills to go through, which could either pull your hair out or turn it gray.or just stare in a state of shock!.
All I can say I did my best, and prayed alot. Dr. Hamblin told me once that just because you give birth to a child, doesn't mean you know everything about being parents...You always learn more.
I was the youngest in my family. and my brother Verl is eleven years older than I. Needless to say I didn't know anything about being a parent. And with my two oldest we learned together.
Launie Michelle
As a small child was very independent. She wanted things her way and always tried to do things herself. Once when Lynn and I came home from a church assignment at night, walking into our apartment we found Grandpa Walker and Troy asleep on the frontroom floor and Launie Michelle, almost two years sitting on top of the kitchen table pouring herself a cup of green punch. All the punch, (Koolaid,) would not fit into her cup, so it ran all over the table and on to the floor. I was so surprised she could climb on top of the table, let alone figure out how to pour the punch into her cup.
She also would not let anyone help her when it came to breakfast time. She had to feed herself. Alot of the time ended with the bowl on top of her head. Of course which ment morning bath time. I had to laugh when Dr. Hamblin said Launie Michelle was the cleanest little girl he had seen in a long time.
When it was nap time, I had to be so careful being by her bedroom door. Once she was asleep a tiny noise would wake her. I had to keep the TV on, and try not to walk by her bedroom door which was across from the bathroom door. We lived in a two bedroom duplex with one bathroom. in Phoenix Arizona.
Now in 2015 Launie is one of the head Coaches at the YMCA. She has survived Brest Cancer early in her married life, and a divorce.
She has three girls, and two boys. Sharlyn her oldest is married and Ivie her youngest girl will be married this month. Amber her second daughter has just returned from a Mission to Spain. Her oldest boy Hadyn died when he was almost four, from cancer. Launie's youngest Noah, is in High School and is very competitive in Gymnastics.
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Thinking back upon our family when they were small children, Lynn was working full time, going to College, and being on three stake missions. We lived in Arizona, our extended families lived in Utah.
So I remember feeling alone alot of the time. It always felt good to have a chance to talk adult talk and not kid talk at times. I also remember for a short time I had all six kids at home, each having a different schedule. and at times I felt worn out trying to keep up with them. There are seventeen years between my oldest and my youngest. We had trills to go through, which could either pull your hair out or turn it gray.or just stare in a state of shock!.
All I can say I did my best, and prayed alot. Dr. Hamblin told me once that just because you give birth to a child, doesn't mean you know everything about being parents...You always learn more.
I was the youngest in my family. and my brother Verl is eleven years older than I. Needless to say I didn't know anything about being a parent. And with my two oldest we learned together.
Launie Michelle
As a small child was very independent. She wanted things her way and always tried to do things herself. Once when Lynn and I came home from a church assignment at night, walking into our apartment we found Grandpa Walker and Troy asleep on the frontroom floor and Launie Michelle, almost two years sitting on top of the kitchen table pouring herself a cup of green punch. All the punch, (Koolaid,) would not fit into her cup, so it ran all over the table and on to the floor. I was so surprised she could climb on top of the table, let alone figure out how to pour the punch into her cup.
She also would not let anyone help her when it came to breakfast time. She had to feed herself. Alot of the time ended with the bowl on top of her head. Of course which ment morning bath time. I had to laugh when Dr. Hamblin said Launie Michelle was the cleanest little girl he had seen in a long time.
When it was nap time, I had to be so careful being by her bedroom door. Once she was asleep a tiny noise would wake her. I had to keep the TV on, and try not to walk by her bedroom door which was across from the bathroom door. We lived in a two bedroom duplex with one bathroom. in Phoenix Arizona.
Now in 2015 Launie is one of the head Coaches at the YMCA. She has survived Brest Cancer early in her married life, and a divorce.
She has three girls, and two boys. Sharlyn her oldest is married and Ivie her youngest girl will be married this month. Amber her second daughter has just returned from a Mission to Spain. Her oldest boy Hadyn died when he was almost four, from cancer. Launie's youngest Noah, is in High School and is very competitive in Gymnastics.
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Lynn....
Its a little after 1:00 am, I cant sleep. Lynn is sick from the symtoms of both the mylofiberiosis and mynears ...He is laying on the bathroom floor, because of dry heaves, and his head feels like its swerling in circles. He is in a heavy sweat. I have a fan on him to help. Also tonight he was to start using oxgyn during the night as he is not getting enough at night time. His avariage when he took the test was at 82. The Dr. wants you to be at 90 or more.
Dr Dianeger at Huntsman thinks perhaps Lynn's study medician, the one he is taking for the research group, has stoped working. He is schuled for a bunch of teasting in about two weeks to hopefully find out where he is at.
I hate to see him suffer every day....being ill, throwing up, head being dizzie, and being week. Not being able to eat ect.
He talks of not being here for very long and is trying to get things set up for one person to live.
Dr Dianeger at Huntsman thinks perhaps Lynn's study medician, the one he is taking for the research group, has stoped working. He is schuled for a bunch of teasting in about two weeks to hopefully find out where he is at.
I hate to see him suffer every day....being ill, throwing up, head being dizzie, and being week. Not being able to eat ect.
He talks of not being here for very long and is trying to get things set up for one person to live.
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Lynn's Funeral...
Funeral Dec 21 or 22, 2015
Buriel in Provo Cementary next to Gene.
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
For Jade Trapp....
Many years ago when Jodie, my youngest daughter, was little. She had a great fear that we would get lost when we went on vacations in the car. She was afraid we would not be able to find our way home. This was very real to her.
The day before Vacation I went to the store and bought a map of the area we would be traveling in and a red pencil. Giving the map to Jodie I explained that she could mark on the map the roads we would be on, and she could follow our way, and back home again.
One day Our Heavenly Father told us that he was sending us to a beautiful place where we could learn all about his creations. He gave us a map and red pencils, to follow his way...We call them scriptures. He gave us Teachers to lesson to and follow their council, we call them Prophets,
He gave us familys to love us, and help us on our way home. He surrounded us with the beauty of this world he created for us to enjoy.
Yes we have a loving Heavenly Father who loves us and knows each of us by name. I know He is aware of me and all I have been through, for I have felt His comfort given to me when I have needed it most .....We can talk to him anytime we want, and he will answer our prayers.
The day before Vacation I went to the store and bought a map of the area we would be traveling in and a red pencil. Giving the map to Jodie I explained that she could mark on the map the roads we would be on, and she could follow our way, and back home again.
One day Our Heavenly Father told us that he was sending us to a beautiful place where we could learn all about his creations. He gave us a map and red pencils, to follow his way...We call them scriptures. He gave us Teachers to lesson to and follow their council, we call them Prophets,
He gave us familys to love us, and help us on our way home. He surrounded us with the beauty of this world he created for us to enjoy.
Yes we have a loving Heavenly Father who loves us and knows each of us by name. I know He is aware of me and all I have been through, for I have felt His comfort given to me when I have needed it most .....We can talk to him anytime we want, and he will answer our prayers.
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Flying to Arizona....
April 13..15, 2018
I found out that Jodie was flying to Phoenix for a mentorship with a Photographer who lived there. I decided to go with her as my daughter Jennifer and her family lived in Surprise, next to Phoenix. I did not remember seeing Jennifer's two youngest children, Cameron, and Penny.
I asked Pauli if she would be able to take my place if it came to it. I hadn't been feeling very well for a couple of weeks, My flight was paid for, and I knew it would be good for her to go.
Just before leaving I found out that Launie, her daughter Sharlyn and her baby girl would also be there. I called Jodie and asked if she would see if another ticked could be bought for Pauli, as it would be nice to have all the sisters together again.
Our flight on Delta was a ruff flight. The piolet said to keep our seat-belts on as every level of air space was experiencing turbulence. Not good for Pauli as she experiences motion sickness.
Even the landing was hard, and a slamming of the breaks....made me feel we were coming in too fast and had to slow down almost to a stop before turning into the airport.
Jodie and Pauli and I sat together, Pauli liked the window and Jodie preferred the isle way.
Jennifer picked up Pauli and I from the airport. Jodie had a rental car and needed to leave for her appointment. It was good to see Jennifer and her family, the kids were so little the last time I remember being with them. They came to Utah for Thanksgiving before Lynn pasted away, but I don't remember very much about that time, as it was a few weeks before Lynn died in December.
Phoenix is still a beautiful place. Still a dry desert. I had forgotten how short the trees are in a desert. Phoenix has grown a lot since we had moved in 2005. I found myself being disoriented because of all the changes and growth of the area.
Jennifer has her hands full with five very active kids. a job, and a working husband, and a beautiful home, and a family of cats...
While we were there we had the privilege of attending the Temple with Sarah, Jennifer, Mike... This was Sarah's first time to do Baptisms for the dead. It was a honor to be with her at this time.
I can't believe how much my grand kids have grown.
I also enjoyed being with Launie, her daughter Sharlyn, and her baby daughter. Such a happy baby girl. Sharlyn was just glowing, and so was Launie. I wish we had more time to visit with each other.
At Walmart, I had the kids pick out something that they would like to have. I was surprised that most of the items were extremely small, and inexpensive. I had fun watching how they took their time choosing what they wanted most. It was nice just being with and watching them make their decisions.
Time flew too fast and it was time to leave. We only had two days but it was great.
I found out that Jodie was flying to Phoenix for a mentorship with a Photographer who lived there. I decided to go with her as my daughter Jennifer and her family lived in Surprise, next to Phoenix. I did not remember seeing Jennifer's two youngest children, Cameron, and Penny.
I asked Pauli if she would be able to take my place if it came to it. I hadn't been feeling very well for a couple of weeks, My flight was paid for, and I knew it would be good for her to go.
Just before leaving I found out that Launie, her daughter Sharlyn and her baby girl would also be there. I called Jodie and asked if she would see if another ticked could be bought for Pauli, as it would be nice to have all the sisters together again.
Our flight on Delta was a ruff flight. The piolet said to keep our seat-belts on as every level of air space was experiencing turbulence. Not good for Pauli as she experiences motion sickness.
Even the landing was hard, and a slamming of the breaks....made me feel we were coming in too fast and had to slow down almost to a stop before turning into the airport.
Jodie and Pauli and I sat together, Pauli liked the window and Jodie preferred the isle way.
Jennifer picked up Pauli and I from the airport. Jodie had a rental car and needed to leave for her appointment. It was good to see Jennifer and her family, the kids were so little the last time I remember being with them. They came to Utah for Thanksgiving before Lynn pasted away, but I don't remember very much about that time, as it was a few weeks before Lynn died in December.
Phoenix is still a beautiful place. Still a dry desert. I had forgotten how short the trees are in a desert. Phoenix has grown a lot since we had moved in 2005. I found myself being disoriented because of all the changes and growth of the area.
Jennifer has her hands full with five very active kids. a job, and a working husband, and a beautiful home, and a family of cats...
While we were there we had the privilege of attending the Temple with Sarah, Jennifer, Mike... This was Sarah's first time to do Baptisms for the dead. It was a honor to be with her at this time.
I can't believe how much my grand kids have grown.
I also enjoyed being with Launie, her daughter Sharlyn, and her baby daughter. Such a happy baby girl. Sharlyn was just glowing, and so was Launie. I wish we had more time to visit with each other.
At Walmart, I had the kids pick out something that they would like to have. I was surprised that most of the items were extremely small, and inexpensive. I had fun watching how they took their time choosing what they wanted most. It was nice just being with and watching them make their decisions.
Time flew too fast and it was time to leave. We only had two days but it was great.
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
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Things I Really Like...
June 28 2019
I was thinking the other day about what I like, and why it has been through out my life.
In no certain order...
I love clocks. My brother Verl, who is eleven years older than I am, enjoyed clocks. He had brought back a Coco clock, when he was in the Navy. It really caught my attention. Not only that it made a sound but the workmanship was beautiful. I would love to have one, but they are really expensive.
I do have several clocks, One has scissors for hands...reminds me when I worked in the shops.
One looks like a car tire, very fancy... David gave it to Lynn, and when he could not protest any longer, after he died, It became mine...
I have a owl clock that Verl brought back from Germany when he was in the Navy, back when I was in the fifth grade. I Love it... I need to get it cleaned.
I have my mothers anniversary clock that Verl gave her. It has a glass dome over it and it has a diamond shape face. I understand its very valuable now.
I have a small, about a two inch square travel clock which faces me when I am seated at my desk.
I also have a marble clock that rolls little marbles in different shoots to tell the time. I usually have him out around Halloween. However this year he has sat on my kitchen counter all year.
I prefer Roman numbers on a clock face. I have a large round clock hanging in my bedroom which has words on the face of Home, Love, Family, Friends ect. I have a clock hanging in the main bathroom that I changed the face, The numbers are at the bottom of the clock, as if they had fallen there.
I also have a watch that is a skeleton watch, you can see the wheels working inside, both front and the back. I love it...I love to see how it works, its amazing how someone came up with the idea...
I was thinking the other day about what I like, and why it has been through out my life.
In no certain order...
I love clocks. My brother Verl, who is eleven years older than I am, enjoyed clocks. He had brought back a Coco clock, when he was in the Navy. It really caught my attention. Not only that it made a sound but the workmanship was beautiful. I would love to have one, but they are really expensive.
I do have several clocks, One has scissors for hands...reminds me when I worked in the shops.
One looks like a car tire, very fancy... David gave it to Lynn, and when he could not protest any longer, after he died, It became mine...
I have a owl clock that Verl brought back from Germany when he was in the Navy, back when I was in the fifth grade. I Love it... I need to get it cleaned.
I have my mothers anniversary clock that Verl gave her. It has a glass dome over it and it has a diamond shape face. I understand its very valuable now.
I have a small, about a two inch square travel clock which faces me when I am seated at my desk.
I also have a marble clock that rolls little marbles in different shoots to tell the time. I usually have him out around Halloween. However this year he has sat on my kitchen counter all year.
I prefer Roman numbers on a clock face. I have a large round clock hanging in my bedroom which has words on the face of Home, Love, Family, Friends ect. I have a clock hanging in the main bathroom that I changed the face, The numbers are at the bottom of the clock, as if they had fallen there.
I also have a watch that is a skeleton watch, you can see the wheels working inside, both front and the back. I love it...I love to see how it works, its amazing how someone came up with the idea...
(Draft written by mom but never posted 💗)
Oct 23, 2019
Receiving Promptings...
Oct 23, 2019
I learned, and was surprised, at a prompting I had received. I was to receive two tickets in the mail for a Conference session in the Salt Lake Temple on Oct 27. for Temple workers, and a guest.
I was still invited, even though I have been on medical leave for a while.
I needed to call Sis Smith, who was to send the two tickets to me, to let her know I had not received them. I received a prompting to call her. During the many hours during the day I was bombarded by loud thoughts that I should not call her, with many, many excuses with them.
Latter I thought, of how loud these were, and almost a constant war.
I remembered the Holy Ghost speaks in soft, quiet tones. I told myself that the first one was a very quiet thought, and I would go with that one.....It was a good thing I did, as Sis Smith had mailed them to me, but I had never received them.
Some how, things will work out so that Pauli and I will be able to attend that meeting.
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I learned, and was surprised, at a prompting I had received. I was to receive two tickets in the mail for a Conference session in the Salt Lake Temple on Oct 27. for Temple workers, and a guest.
I was still invited, even though I have been on medical leave for a while.
I needed to call Sis Smith, who was to send the two tickets to me, to let her know I had not received them. I received a prompting to call her. During the many hours during the day I was bombarded by loud thoughts that I should not call her, with many, many excuses with them.
Latter I thought, of how loud these were, and almost a constant war.
I remembered the Holy Ghost speaks in soft, quiet tones. I told myself that the first one was a very quiet thought, and I would go with that one.....It was a good thing I did, as Sis Smith had mailed them to me, but I had never received them.
Some how, things will work out so that Pauli and I will be able to attend that meeting.
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