April 2011...Cancer...

This has been a very jam packed, fast moving month and a half. So much has happened during this time. I will try to remember all that I can to tell you, and perhaps the dates may be off a day or two. As I said so much was going on at this time, besides the unbelievable mess of the Walker family, Lynn loosing weight, looking only of skin and bone, and feeling sick. I think every thing is catching up with him. and now he has me to worry about on top of it all.

March 8, 2011
Baby Bird: Reg. visit with Vet. for yearly shot 1st, of 2.

March 9, 2011
Me: Apt. with Dr. Douglas, talked about right knee replacement to be scheduled, soon for this year. He also laughed when he heard the squeak in my left hip. And said he was surprised, would report that he had really heard the squeaking of this new material replacements.

March 14, 2011
After taking a shower, I noticed a red like rash on my left breast. I thought perhaps it might be from the material from the new bras that I had just bought.It didn't dawn on me that I wear garments to.

March 15, 2011
Rash still there, also noticed that the nipple seemed more flattened or sunken in a little. I need to get this checked out.
My Gynecologist had moved out of state, but I had seen one other, years ago. I called her, and found out that she just had a kidney transplant and was not in the office. How ever her partner Dr. Eldad Vered, was, and after explaining what I was seeing they worked me into his busy schedule.

March 16, 2011
Met with Dr. Eldad Vered. He was very kind to me. He ordered a diagnostic mammogram, and a ultra sound. He also scheduled an appointment with Dr. Gail Strindberg who is a Surgeon, and happened to have had a mastectomy herself last year.

I have had cyst, or lumps, that come, get real sore for a couple of weeks then go away. I have had them checked out and was told that they were nothing to worry about. That some women get them. The one I had this time, didn't go away, and developed a rash.

March 22, 2011
Diagnostic Mammogram, and ultra sound done in the Hospital in Tooele.
They said I needed to have a Ultra sound biopsy.

Renewed Driver licence

March 23, 2011
Had the Ultrasound Biopsy. They removed 7 to 8 samples for testing.

March 24, 2011
Appointment with Dr. Gail Strindberg, Surgeon. I really like her. And she tells it, as it is. She also took a skin biopsy where the rash was.

Jodie moves into her new apartment in South Provo. (Bad area, Bad apartment for a single, good looking girl.)

March 27, 2011
Pauli and James announced they are expecting. I am so happy for them.

Jenny Bird very sick. We took her into emergency care, over by Pauli's and James house. too many needles for such a little bird. She started pulling feathers to show her feelings about the treatment at the vets.

March 28, 2011
Jenny Bird in Hospital with her own Vet. Dr.Dana Clark, at the Lakeview Animal Hospital in Bountiful, Utah.
Baby Bird received her 2nd shot for the year.

March 29, 2011
5:06 AM, Austin Ryder Maughan, born to Jennifer and Mike Maughan. 9 lb. 8oz. In Sandy, Utah. Austin is number 12th grandchild. He is so cute.

March 30, 2011
Pauli tells me she is having heavy cramping. (She does have a miscarriage)

April 1, 2011
MRI for Breast Cancer at the St. Marks Hospital in Sandy, Utah.

Dad died 28 years ago on this day.

April 2,3, 2011
General Conference

April 6, 2011
In the evening, I received a call from Dr. Strindberg. giving a glimmer of hope. The report from the MRI says the tumor seems to be contained and the lymph nodes may not be involved. She had not received the report on the Ultrasound Biopsy yet, but the skin biopsy came back clear. Her office will call tomorrow and schedule an appointment for me next week.

April 10, 2011
Pauli and James, Jodie and Will, Jen and Mike and the kids and the new baby boy, Surprised us for our Birthdays (which is this next week.) James fixed dinner, Jodie bought a Birthday cake. It was great just being with my family. I got to hold the new baby Austin. He is so beautiful.

Before they left for home I told them about me and what I was going through. It was starting to get out, and I wanted them to hear from us before they heard from someone elts.

James, Will and Lynn gave me a priesthood blessing.

April 11, 2011
Lynn's Birthday he is 68.

Temple Recommend renewed at Bishop Grua's home.

April 12, 2011
My Birthday, I am 67

April 13, 2011
Our House Birthday. We moved into this house 6 years ago, It has been a great blessing for us to be here. In Utah, In Grantsville, In this house, In this ward, and with the greatest neighbors, and friends.

April 14, 2011
Appointment with Dr. Strindberg. We talked about Surgery, Mastectomy. It is cancer, but seems to be contained. Dr. Strindberg told me how the surgery would be done. also about the radiation injections to see which of the limp nodes would be involved, with the drainage from that area, before the surgery was done.
we are looking at the 29th of April. The Hospital will call me.
Blood was taken for a BRCA test. Checking for a cancer gene that might run in a family line. Update: We have NO cancer gene in our family.

April 18, 2011
Lynn and I were asked to help clean the Salt Lake Temple, from 1:00 to 5:00 pm.
We were with Bro. and Sis. Mathew, and Bishop and Sis. Grua. Bishop Grua treated us to dinner at Crowns. It was so good. The shakes you had to eat with a spoon, and one of the best fish sandwich I have ever eaten.

April 19, 20, 21, 2011
We borrowed the Stakes Dry Packing Canner and did all of our dry packing.

April 23, 2011
Pauli and James spent the night. We made bunny candy boxes for Easter. (Which is tomorrow.)
Gene would have turned 40 today. Happy Birthday Gene.

April 24, 2011
Today is Easter, Sharlyn, Our oldest Granddaughter, called and told us she is Engaged to Ethan Davis.

April 25, 2011
My nerves are causing some physical problems, like yeast..... :\

April 26, 2011
Bishop Grua, and Lynn gave me a Priesthood blessing. Bishop Grua gave me a beautiful blessing. I don't think I have heard anyone speak to the Lord as if he was standing in the same room with us, as Bishop Grua did in my behalf.

April 29, 2011
Surgery, Mastectomy of the left breast. The radiation injections seemed to be the worst of the day.

April 30, 2011
Home from the Hospital.
Jodie and Will, Launie and Amber and Ivie, came to stay with us.
Jennifer and Mike went down to Arizona, looking for work and a new house to live in.

I feel great!

May 1, 2011
Pauli and James came after church.
Bishop Grua, Marilyn, Julia brought a gift for me. Beautiful roses, and beautiful bird. They were so kind. It was so good to see Julia again.
Launie's date spent the day with us.

Feeling very tired tonight, but still up beat.

May 2, 2011
Granddaughters wanted to spend the day with Jodie at her apartment in Provo, and would leave for Ariz from there on Tuesday.

Maralee Parkinson brought dinner for us.

May 3, 2011
Drain tube from my side has dried up??? Can not reach my Dr. She will be going out of town. I have an appointment with her on May 9th.

May 4, 2011
Pauli stayed the night, and fixed dinner for us. She read me her story as she was editing. (Pauli is such a good writer, I don't think she knows just how good she really is at writing.)
My friend, LaDean Weight, brought a treat that Lynn likes. They were great.

May 9, 2011
Follow up appointment after Surgery with Dr. Strindberg. There is cancer in the lymph node that was removed. and she said that I had two little strands in the upper part of my chest that are still there. I will need chemo therapy, and radiation treatment.
I will need to have surgery in about three weeks, to remove the limp nodes under my arm and implant a "port" just under the skin on the right side so that chemo treatment can be done through the port. This Surgery will be on the 31st of this month.

Great News, and sad news....

Great News... Baby Boy born to Jennifer and Mike this morning at 5:06 AM. Austin Ryder Maughan, 9 lb and 8 oz. at St. Marks Hospt. in Salt Lake City. Mike was so excited that the baby was finaley here. Mike even wrote "Mine" on the baby's foot, so he wouldn't get lost in the nursery or taken by another parent. So Funny! He is a beautiful baby boy.

This week I have had to take Jenny Bird to the vets. Sunday we took her to the emergentcy vets, she seemed so sick. I thought she might be egg bound, like Baby was when we almost lost her. How ever after the exray, and a shot for pain, and anti-inflamition shot, and a shot to give water. They also did a swave for bacteria and found nothing. They said to take Jenny to our regular vet the next day.

Visiting Dr. Clark, he took a blood sample, and said he wanted to put Jenny in the Hospital, as he could see she was a very sick bird. They kept her in a inkabater, gave her tube feedings, and started her on a atabotic

The Muddy Whirlpool...

I look across the way and see a whirlpool, dirty and thick as mud. slowly churning pulling everything downward. Its almost impossible to get out of, like quicksand, Every thing it touches is to be destroyed.
It turns and turns, pulling at everything, pulling downward to a bottomless pit of hate and greed, with no escape.

The best thing to do, is to turn away from it. Trying to help only brings one closer to drowning in the mud themselves.

As much as it hurts, sometimes you have to let others work their own way out of trouble.

Time often moves slowly, more so than what we want it to be.
There will be a time where everyone will answer for their actions.

Righteous Fathers, being the head of their families, have the right for us to account to them, for what we have done in this life...

A Family Shredded...

Bernard, Lynn's father has been gone for four months now. I am still in a unbelievable state. Some how his family has been shredded in half because of greed. There is a fast moving under current like jet streams, to destroy, accuse falsely, and to acquire every thing...
I almost feel like standing still with my mouth hanging open in disbelief.

The family home has mostly been cleaned out and ready for sale.... Edith, who will be 89 this month, believes that all her money has been stolen, and she has nothing. And yet she has more money coming to her each month, more than Lynn and I do together to live on. (About $5000, free of ties, to start with.) Edith also has a huge amount of hate built, and being built up inside her.

Some how family members have been turned against each other, and there is a tearing apart of family ties. One was being taken to court for extortion, and possible more charges. (that has been dropped, for now.)

Lynn comes home from Orem, where his family lives, totally exhausted just from emotions. Its hard to keep a level heart with all this going on.

Thank Heavens for a God who loves us. And teaches us Truth about this life, and that life continues past this world. And the way we live here will tell how we will live there...

Note:
Bernard and Edith have been well to do as for as money goes, owning  a business of their own for most of their lives.  Bernard had every thing set up to protect Edith and look after her while she was still living, In case he should die first, which he did. Edith would not be in want for anything.

So how was this family destroyed, right before our eyes???

I question how to protect my own family when Lynn and I die. We have very little, but I have seen families fight over nothing too.
Worldly things last only a moment of time, and then we are separated from them. They stay on this world, and we go to face Our Father in Heaven, the Creator of this World.

But a Family is Eternal, always lasting. And More Important...

Smart Youth...

Sitting in the row in front of me at Church was a very cute little girl with a big imagination. I was impress with her and how she could entertain herself.

She had been given a sandwich bag which had some snacks in it for her to eat. As she was almost finished eating, she kept one of the Gold fish crackers in her bag, sealed the plastic bag and blew at one corner, blowing up the bag. She now had a make believe aquarium, with a little fish inside.

This little fish became her friend and the two played together quietly, reading books and coloring, racing around the bag, and jumping inside the bag, and teasing her big brother.

My kids didn't have snakes during Church time, It was frowned on to have food in the Chapel during this time. That came latter on when young children had to be good for the three hours. Sometimes that is hard for little ones to do.

I had made a "Quiet Book" which had pages of activities which kept my kids busy. They seemed to like working with it. We had it for many years, and parts would have to be replaced as they would fall out and get lost.

If you make a Quiet Book it would be a good idea to make the pages so they could be removed from the book, so more than one child could use it.

I had a large set of tube paints that I used to paint the Quiet Books with. They were in a large can that had a holder for each tube to set in.
We moved from Phoenix six years ago, I don't remember packing the tube paints, or seeing them then. I wonder where they are... I sure enjoyed using them...

Shock...

I am still shaking a little over this last phone call!
Today is Sunday and it was Stake Conference for us. I have been sick for several days with a bad cold. Not the flue that is going around, but a bad cold.
I wanted to go to the Temple Thursday for Stake Temple Day. And to attend the Saturday evening Conference. I so enjoy going to both, but I was sick and couldn't go.

Tonight My Stake President called and wanted to know what happened to me as I was not at Conference....

I was Surprised that a Stake President would be aware of my attendance as I am one in several hundreds in this stake, and not a person of importance.

After catching my breath, and the feeling of Surprise, I began to feel Honored, that my Stake President was aware of me. He cared enough about me to call and see if I was alright.

I was reminded that the Lord is aware of each of us, and we are loved unconditionally. With all the thousands of people that are and have been on earth, the Lord knows each one of us personally.

I was so touched by Pres. Collings concerns for me, that I hope I will be able to do the same for someone elts that might need a spiritual hug...

Falling...Who me?...

I have always wondered why older people could fall out of bed during the night...Well I found the answer this morning as I was having a good dream and found myself falling sidewards off my bed. I was very Surprised! I also found myself in the dark and I was wedge in between the ceder chest and the mattress, as it also came off my bed. Making it impossible for me to move. I screamed for Lynn who was in the next room, but he could not hear me. I felt with my loose right hand for anything that may be on top of the ceder chest that I might use to tap on the wall. I was lucky to find a wooden bunny laying there. I was able to reach over the ceder chest and knocked on the wall which Lynn did hear. Latter I discovered there was a space of about ten inches, that was free of things to reach the wall. Some how I was able to hit that tiny space to knock on the wall. Again I was amazed by it.

Getting to my feet was not that easy either, as both of my knees are in bad shape. I feel blessed, that I had no problem landing on my hip. I am learning interesting things about our bodies and how they react to ageing. I ask myself if this is another thing I have to learn about, here on earth? Some how I wish it could be easier... at least I have a better insight to older folks when bad things happen to them. I am looking for more ways to be helpful when I can.

I feel very blessed, that nothing real bad happened to me this morning...

When I was young I remember my Aunts talking about falling out of bed, and saying how Silly they felt, that it had happened... How ever it could be a serious thing, If you could not move, or get stuck, or broke bones, and no help, one could die there, never being discovered until it was too late...