My Brother Ivan...

Oct 21, 2016


My Brother Ivan and his wife Grace came for a visit this afternoon.  Ivan is about 13 years older than my self.  He has lost a lot of weight, He weights less than myself right now.  His skin has a yellow looking cast.  I have been worried about him and wondering if his health is going down.

Today in our conversations Ivan asked about Lynn's health, and how long he was sick before passing.  Then the topic changed to Ivan not trusting Huntsman Cancer Hospital, because people go in and die there, or never come out...he doesn't trust them.

He soon express that the doctor said they had found traces of cancer in his body. I have the feeling he didn't want to know any more and left.

Feeling a little numb...

Oct 20 2016


Sister Hollie Bevan had called me last week to let me know that she would not be coming to the Genealogy building, the next week.  Their plans to move had changed and they had to move a week early.  Her husband was scheduled for surgery on the Oct 24th.

I had ordered the CD Beloved Hymns of Christ, by Michael Dowdle, on the Acoustic Guitar.  One of my most favorit CDs. I wanted to give it to Hollie as a thank you gift for helping me learn about Genealogy.

Hollie told me that the Dr. suspected the lumps in her husband neck, were cancer lymph nodes.  Some of the fluid they had taken had some cancer cells in it.  They will take several out and check them.... and if there is cancer, try to see if they can tell where its coming from. His surgery will be done in the Tooele Hospital, on the 24th.

Also Terry and Cathy Walker came for a visit yesterday.  They took me out for lunch at Apple bees.  Terry told me that he has Colon cancer, and may have three years to live if he is lucky...

Terry also informed me that Gary Hardman had died on Saturday Oct 15, from brain cancer...
He was Lynn's cousin, and also his best man at our Wedding Reception.

I am feeling so numb....sometimes when I give deep thought about this news, I get sick to my stomach to the point of almost throwing up.  I hate cancer and what it does to people...To those who get it, and what it does to their families...



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A Spiritual Experience...

Oct 16 2016


I have felt that it is time for me to learn how to do genealogy, start or be involved some how.  I have procrastinated because I don't know very much about computers and everything is on computers now.

I had met Sister Hollie Bevan, when she helped Lynn with his genealogy.  I felt she might be able to teach me what I needed to do and be very patient with me as I learn slowly.  I was pondering what day would be best for me to go over to the Genealogy Building in Grantsville, and Wednesday kept coming to mind. Wednesday morning came and I felt I was fighting with the Spirit, as they kept telling me I had to get over to the Genealogy building, and that it was Wednesday morning...over and over again.

The Church built a new Simminary building for Grantsville High School, which was right next to the old building.  They then used this old building for Family History, which makes it very nice.

I walk into the building and Sis Bevan and her husband were there.  I told her that I had never so strongly been prompted, and pushed to be there that morning.
The only thing that I knew how to do was to log on to the church sight. During the last six weeks Sis Bevan was very patient with me, helping me to feel good about what we were doing.

In the six weeks that she worked with me we found 89 ordinances to be done, and added four new families. Sis Bevan also showed me how to copy photos and documents, and tag the names of the people in the photos.

When I went last Wednesday Sis Bevan informed me that next week would be their last day.  They were going to move to Bountiful, north of Salt Lake City.  They would be helping their family for the next five years.   That was a shock!

Thinking I would get as much instruction as I could before they left, I asked what other days was she working at the Family Search building.....And was Surprised to hear they only come in on Wednesday!


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New Stake Presidency...

Feb 14, 2016

Our Stake President, Stephen Collings, and his wife Tracy, have been called as a Mission President over the Uganda Kampala Mission.

We had Stake Conference today, I have been wondering who was going to be our new Stake President.

I  had a feeling all month that my bishop, as young as he is would qualify for being there.  I have been praying that Bishop McBride would not be called, for I so needed his help, and right now it is very hard with all the changes that have fallen on my shoulders in the last two months, to loose the one person who seems to know all the crazy things in finances, and my life,  I have to do since Lynn's passing.

When the time came, it was announced that Jason Killian is the new Stake President... I know him and I know he will be great...a young man, but has a deep heart.  Troy May is first counselor,  and Ryan McBride is the second counselor.... My heart sank, I knew it... I cried inside, and felt so alone.

Bishop McBride was asked to speak, he is so spiritual and humble.  I was happy for him, but still very sad for me.  Then Pres. Killian spoke, as I listened to him speak I felt a warmth and a feeling that everything was going to be ok.  I don't know how, but I know the Lord knows how I feel.


Latter in the afternoon, the doorbell rang.  As I answered it, a man and his daughter were there and he was caring a flower arrangement from Stake Conference.  He said it was for me for Valentine day, from the Stake President....I asked the old or new? and he said the new one.

The Flower arrangement was one of the most beautiful I have seen, and stands about four feet high.  I admired it during all Saturday evening session as I sat on the front row with Kim Gamoushio and her husband. (who sang a duet that evening) The Flowers were right in front of me.


Today is also Valentines Day.  I received a beautiful Valentine card from Terry and Cathy Walker, Lynn's brother.  Pauli and James gave me some beautiful white roses that had the most delicate pink trim running on the edges of the peddles.  Launie sent me a text, wishing Happy Valentines day.



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The Struggle ended...

On Dec 13, 2015  Lynn at home passed threw the vail. being surrounded by his best friends, Bishop Ryan McBride, Our Stake Patriarch Cory Grua, Our Home teacher, Cris Reilley, our son David and myself.

Lynn has struggled for at least seven months with the symptoms of Acute Leukemia.  Getting weaker as time continued. He was determend that he wanted to write and finish his life story. Even being very ill the Lord granted his request.  Finishing on Saturday, a week before he left, he took his history to Priesthood meeting to show the brothern that he had actually accomplished the task.

Lynn did not like to miss church on Sundays.  He would dress in his suit, oxygen tank, cane, pillow and go to Sacrament meeting.  He walked slowly, placing one foot just in front of the other, as he entered the church building.  Taking of the Sacrament was very important to him, and needed the blessings it gave.  If he felt he could make it, he would try to attend Priesthood meeting.

On Sunday Dec 13, Lynn informed Bishop McBride, he didn't think he could make church today, and requested Sacrament in our home.  We feel that Lynn actually did make it to church that Sunday, for at 11:30 pm he made it into Heaven.

Lynn in his own way spent  time with each of our children.  He gave father blessings to Launie, David, and Paulette at their request.
As Jennifer had some questions about computer programs he used, life seemed to spark, and he went to his computer and talked with her about them, with renewed interest.
His last Sunday, as he was not feeling to well Jodie, who is a EMT, spent time talking, and working out, the amount of medicine he could use...spending time and talking with him.

Latter in the evening, Bishop McBride came to check on Lynn.  Seeing Lynn was struggling more, he said he thought "we needed to give Lynn the blessing he had asked for earlier in the week".  Bishop McBride went next door to talk to Bishop Grua and would be back soon.  In the meantime our Home teacher Bro Reilley was getting ready for bed, and "had the strong feeling he needed to go to the Walkers."  He got dressed and came over.

As the four Priesthood holders surrounded Lynn's chair.  David was asked to anoint Lynn's head with oil.  Then Bishop McBride gave him a blessing.  In the middle of the blessing with hands of the Priesthood on his head, The spirit flew free.... Lynn slipped into heaven, and we heard his last breath.

So sweet was the present of the spirit, that we  talked and cried for about two hours, before someone suggested that we should call Hospice.  The lady came and pronounce Lynn's death.  Bro Reilley had written down the time when it had happened,  at 11:30 pm. on Sunday Dec 13, 2015.



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Lynn...Leukemia...

Since writing last, Lynn returned to Huntsman for about a week and a half.  Spending a week in ICU
again with Pneumonia in his right lung.  His legs and feet are swelling and turning red, with red spots coming out all around his legs.  Doctors tell me its because his heart is week and not pumping enough to increase circulation.  His kidneys are in the process of failing.  His heart is getting weaker, and his lungs have Pneumonia.  Some one once said you don't die from cancer...you die from complications cancer causes.

His bones are not producing red blood cells or platelets, that is why he needs transfusions as often as three times a week.

Lynn

Oct 12, 2015

I received a message from Lynn on my phone, he is at the Hospital in Tooele, getting his blood checked.
He informed me that he would get only one red blood transfusion today.  I am surprised!  I thought for sure he would have been given at least two red blood transfusions and one of platelets.
at this rate he may not make it very long.  (maybe not four weeks???)

This week I also had a problem with the Sciatic nerve again.  Brother Grua drove Lynn and I to Dr Garg at his Murray office. I received the shots in my back.  I also received a Priesthood blessing from Lynn and Bro Grua, to help with the meds I had received, as I was still in pain.
Lynn wanted to give me a blessing saying "that It was something he could still do, to give a Priesthood Blessing, representing the Lord."  I very much appreciated the blessing.

Today is Oct 18.  Lynn is in Huntsman with pneumonia.  Bro Grua drove him friday night.  Today they moved him from ICU to the 4th floor. Yesterday Dr. Deineger called for a family meeting in Lynns room.  Pauli, David, Jodie and Will came, also Bro and Sister Grua came.

Dr. Deineger wanted to discuss  that it was time for Hopuss coming to the home.  It seemed the only one who objected was Lynn.  I have the feeling from the Dr. that there is not much time left.

This morning, A Jr. Doctor, "WANT A BE" (my term)  scared Lynn by telling him that his kidneys were in the process of failing, and his heart also....and his lungs were worse.  And having transfusions would do no good, that when his time has come, it comes and there is nothing he can do about it.

Lynn was very angry with her... and wanted to go home the next day.  I told him to call Clarisa, Dr. Deineger's nurse and talk to her about where his body is at right now.

I have to make calls and find out about Hospus tomorrow.